


Guided Home (To You)

by ByTheStones67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Human Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, People eventually learning how to goddamn talk to each other, Slow Burn, if all goes right this is going to go at a glacial pace, like seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2019-09-17 03:03:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByTheStones67/pseuds/ByTheStones67
Summary: The first thing Castiel was aware of, was that he hurt virtually everywhere. The next thing he noticed was that he was on something soft. He didn't notice his arm was bound to his chest until he tried to move.His eyes shot open as memories came flooding back. There had been Angels, three of them. They had had him cornered in an ally, beating him until he had almost lost consciousness. He vaguely remembered hearing another voice, farther away, maybe female, before his vision was taken over by a bright blinding light. Then he knew nothing.He tried to prop himself up, using his unbound right hand, but hot white pain shot up his chest. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth against the pain."Hey, you're alright, though I wouldn't try to get up, were I you." A soft, slightly brogued voice chided him, quiet footsteps coming closer."Where am I?" Cas demanded, squinting up at the figure beside him.





	1. Agony and Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so, this is a companion piece to another one of my works, I Found An Angel (which is currently under editing, jesus, it's so bad), they will run mostly parallel, so you don't have to read them both, in fact I might delete that one, because I'm a perfectionist, as well as lazy and a failure, so... what can ya do?  
> Anyway, I'm going to try for once a month updates, so we'll see how that goes, let me know if you like it, or have any suggestions, or maybe little requests. I shall take all under consideration.  
> Anyway, happy reading  
> -BTS... (fuck, how did I just notice that? Jesus Christ on a flaming shit, I... have no words)

The first thing Castiel was aware of, was that he hurt virtually everywhere. The next thing he noticed was that he was on something soft. He didn't notice his arm was bound to his chest until he tried to move.

His eyes shot open as memories came flooding back. There had been Angels, three of them. They had had him cornered in an ally, beating him until he had almost lost consciousness. He vaguely remembered hearing another voice, farther away, maybe female, before his vision was taken over by a bright blinding light. Then he knew nothing.

  
Taking in his surroundings, he noticed that he was in a bedroom, the walls a nice navy blue, maybe, in the pale moonlight shining through the pale blue curtains. There were few possessions in the room, only a bed, nightstand, and dresser.

  
There were two doors, one was wide open, most likely leading into the darkness that was the rest of the house. The other door was cracked open, a yellowish light slipping out into the bedroom. There was the soft sound of a running tap coming from there, so Cas determined it was most likely a bathroom.

  
He tried to prop himself up, using his unbound right hand, but hot white pain shot up his chest. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth against the pain.

"Hey, you're alright, though I wouldn't try to get up, were I you." A soft, slightly brogued voice chided him, quiet footsteps coming closer.

"Where am I?" Cas demanded, squinting up at the figure beside him.

It was a women, roughly 5'8", and standing by the edge of the bed looking down at him with an expression he thought might be a bemused concern. She was pale, her soft looking raven hair pulled back, with deep blue eyes. She had a scar over her freckled nose, another went diagonally through her left eyebrow. She was wearing a dark grey t-shirt with 'Metallica' written across it, with darker spots splotching over her midsection and hem, as well as a dark pool of it on her right side. Cas recalled Dean mentioning 'Metallica' occasionally, but quickly shut that train of thought down.

"My house, just North of Lebanon." She replied in her Irish brouge, Cas noted somewhat proudly, rubbing at her left forearm. Cas noted the strip of white cloth wrapped around it with interest.

"You banished them, you are a hunter." He stated it more than questioned, but she nodded anyway.

"Ay, that I did, those winged bastards have no respect for a fair fight, besides, from the look of ya, you would have bled out before the fight had finished." She grinned.

Cas tilted his head some what awkwardly from his prone position, squinting at her.

"You've dealt with Angel's before." She shrugged, wincing slightly.

"Eh, here and there. My da was the one that mostly dealt with them a few years back, but I managed to learn a few things before he past, you know, warding sigils, banishing sigils, a bit of Enochian, that type thing." Cas nodded, immediately regretting it when his head swam. He brought his hand up to rub his temple, pausing when his hand came in contact with cloth.

"Ah, yeah, you had a pretty nasty head wound, needed quite a few stitches it did, but it's all stitched up now, probably gotta mild concussion though." She paused. "Do you want a whole run down of your injuries?" She asked slowly.

Cas took in a deep, painful breath before he opened his eyes, giving her a little nod.

"Alright, well, obviously there was the head wound," she began, ticking it off with her fingers. "You also had a broken arm, which we really should get a cast on, but I can splint it if you want. Then there was the gash across your abdomen, just above your tattoo, which is cool, by the way, is's Enochian, right? Anyway, besides that, you have maybe two fractured ribs? Maybe three." She finished, rocking on her heels.

"How long will it take to heal?"

"About six weeks for the ribs, maybe ten for the arm, the stitches should be able to come out in about a about tenish days though." Castiel sighed, deciding he definitely did not like being injured.

He went to sit up again, gritting his teeth against the pain that shot through him, when hands gently pushed him back down.

"Whoa! Where are you going?" Cas shrugged as best he could.

"I do not have a set destination in mind." She let out a huff of a noise.

"Well stay there then, because I don't know if you noticed, but all you've got on are a blooded pair of blue jeans. I had to cut your shirt off of you, and your hoodie has seen better days." Cas blinked, looking down his body. The top half of his torso was only covered by a white bandage, and his jeans were in fact a bloodied mess.

"Now, I'm not gonna make you stay if you're not wanting to, but I still think you should at least give it a few days. I can take you shopping for some cloths, maybe we can get you a cast for your arm, but the cloths are a must, I don't really have anything here that will fit you, 'cept maybe some too big sweats and t-shirts." Cas' gaze back up at her, her features had softened, and she had a small smile on her lips.

She looked kind, and earnest, but he still felt unease. So had April.

"I don't-" He began.

"What do ya say I go make some food, and we get some pain pills in ya, you look like you've been dragged though a meat grinder." She cut him off, straightening up and grinning down at him, eyebrow raised in challenge.

Cas considered, he was in no shape to fight her, he could barely sit up. Before he could open his mouth, his stomach growled, and she practically beamed at him.

"Well that's that then, I'll go make some food, be back in a jiff!" She called over her shoulder as she moved out the door into the rest of the house.

He didn't know how to feel, on one hand, she did seem earnest in wanting to help, had even tended to his injuries, but on the other, she could be pretending, just as April had.

Cas found himself wishing, yet again, that Dean had let him stay. Dean was safe, Dean he know. Castiel didn't know people. God, did it hurt to think about Dean, the man whom words could not even begin to describe how much he cared for. Cas willed himself not to cry, not again, not when a stranger whose intentions were yet unknown was so near.

He must have been stewing on his thoughts for quite a while, because a light was flipped on, causing him to flinch.

"Oh, shit, sorry 'bout that, should 'ave given you a heads up." She sounded sheepish, and Cas cracked his eyes open, slowly. She was setting a plate and glass down on the nightstand.

"Let's sit you up, shall we?" She reached over him, grabbing the pair of pillows on the other side of the bed, setting them down on the ground.

"Ready?" Cas nodded slowly, and she put one hand on his left shoulder, the other slowly sliding under his back. She looked up at him, giving him a slight nod before she began to lever him up, quickly grabbing the pillows and wedging them behind him so he was in an upright position.

It hurt, but settled into an ache as he leaned back onto the pillows. He gave her a nod of thanks, glad to be in a slightly less vulnerable position.

She smiled, placing the plate down on his lap.

"Finger food." She said softly. There was bacon, as well as buttered toast and fresh fruit.

"Thank you." Cas whispered, and he meant it. There was a gently touch on his shoulder, gone as quick as it was there.

"Eat, I'll go get your pills." She murmured, leaving his side and going back into the darkness of the house.

He stared at the food for a moment, briefly wondering if it was safe to eat before his stomach rumbled again. Letting out a small, pained sigh, he began to eat.

He was almost done with the plate when she returned. She had changed her cloths, presumably because they were covered in blood before. Now she wore a soft looking black shirt that read 'One does not simply walk into Mordor', which he was sure he'd heard a reference to before, but couldn't place, and had changed into a worn pair of sweat pants.

“Hey, sorry, needed to change the shirt, covered in blood really isn't my sense of style.” She explained, huffing out a laugh as she came to a stop beside the bed.

“That is alright, I believe most people prefer their blood inside.” Cas stated, popping another piece of strawberry into his mouth. She barked out a laugh, it was sharp and loud, immediately followed by a snort.

“Isn't that just the strangest thing, I thought I was the only one!” She grinned, shaking her head. Cas made to respond before he realized she was using 'sarcasm'.

“Anyway, I brought the pills,” She trailed off, lifting her right hand, which did indeed contain a pill bottle. “Depending on how you feel when the sun actually comes up, we can go get ya some cloths today, I gotta go to the store for some food anyhow, but it can wait until tomorrow if you don't feel up to it.” She babbled as she pulled a pill out, setting the bottle down on the nightstand and reaching for the glass of water. “You should take this and finish eating, when you're done you should get more rest, best thing for any sort of ailment.”

Cas nodded slowly, taking the pill from her first, grimacing when he set it on his tongue, before taking the proffered water from her. He took long drags from the glass, draining it completely, huffing slightly when he was done.

“Maybe I should have given ya the water first, made me thirsty just watching you.” She joked, taking the glass back. “I'll go get you some more water.” Was all she said before she left the room again.

Cas only eat a few more pieces of fruit before deciding that the uncomfortable tightness in his stomach meant that he was full. Carefully, he moved the plate from his lap to the night table.

“All done then?” The women asked as she moved back into the room, glass once again full of water. Cas nodded, his eye's feeling heavy, he would never get used to needing sleep.

“Alright,” She began, placing the water down on the table. “Do you want me to lay you back down, or shall we find some sort of middle ground between sitting up right and laying down?”

“Middle ground.” Cas blurted, he didn't want to be laying down again, it was too vulnerable, but sitting straight up was not exactly comfortable. “Please.” He added after a beat. She smiled down at him softly, he wasn't sure, but he could swear he saw some sort of understanding in her eyes.

“Alright, I think if we remove one pillow from your lower back, and place it behind your head you should be fairly comfy.” She muttered, gently placing her hand on his shoulder, moving his forward slightly so she could remove the pillow. Then leaned him back slowly, positioning the pillow behind his head comfortably. “Is that good?” She asked.

Cas nodded, it was, surprisingly, comfortable. His ribs were no longer searing with pain, but were settling into a dull ache, and his eyes were drooping slightly.

“Alrighty then, sleep well.” Came a soft whisper, before Cas' world was once again engulfed by darkness.


	2. Awkward Breakfast Club & Emotions Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She trailed off, blinking fast for a moment before alarm coloured her features, putting Cas on alert, he looked around.
> 
> “What is it?”
> 
> “Fuck! No wonder you've been so cautious with me, I never even gave you my name!” Cas blinked owlishly, looking back at her, confusion taking over his alarm.
> 
> She shook her head, almost self deprecatingly. “Hey, I'm Amy, Amy Flynn the idiot that brings injured strangers in her house without any introductions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried guys, I really did. At least I am actually posting something, even if it is two days late. Hope it's worth it.

The next time Castiel came too was much less disorienting. He didn't know how much time had passed, but there was sunlight streaming through the window, and soft humming from somewhere else in the house.

His abdomen hurt the worst, but he was in much less agony than the night before. Looking over to his right, the night stand held the glass of water from the night before, and a single pill, which he took gladly. It was only slightly awkward in his half-sitting position, but he managed, moving only causing small bouts of agony.

The next thing he registered, was the uncomfortable weight just below his navel, that he recognized as the need to urinate. Gritting his teeth, he managed to maneuver into a sitting position, and dragged his legs off of the mattress.

Bracing his free hand on the night stand, he shakily stood, hobbling his way to the connected rest room. If he thought urinating was weird before, it had nothing on experiencing it with only one hand.

Washing his hand, he finally got a look at himself in the mirror above the sink.

There was a white bandage almost awkwardly secured around his forehead, his face was pale, but he had dark bags under his eyes. His eyes themselves where duller than he'd ever seen.

A soft knock on the bedroom door torn his attention away from his self assessment.

“Yes?” His voice was rougher than it usually was, sounding more akin to a growl than a human voice.

Moving out of the bathroom, he saw the bedroom door slowly creak open, and the women from last night peek in.

“Afternoon! I was just checkin' ta see if you were awake. Do you want more food before we change up your bandages?” Cas squinted at her for a moment, which she just tilted her head at, smiling softly.

His stomach gave a soft growl, making him look down at his, before tilting his own head at her.

“That... would be agreeable, yes.” She grinned, pushing the door open all the way.

“Perfect! I made some mac and cheese with some bacon, since that was really all I had left.” She paused, assessing him. “Since you're standing, think you'll be up to come with me to the store?” This inquiry was posed almost cautiously.

He squinted at her again. “I do not believe I will require to rest more anytime soon.” Her face scrunched up in confusion for a moment, before she barked out a laugh.

“Alrighty then, let's get some carbs in ya, find ya a shirt, I think one of my da's might fit ya, kinda, then head out!” She smiled, gesturing for him to follow her down the hall.

The hall was a soft cream colour, warmly lit with the natural light streaming in from the window. There were picture frames all along the inner wall. Cas recognized a few faces in the some of the photos, Bobby being the most regularly occurring, followed by gangly looking man, Jody Mills, Rufus, Joe and Ellen Harvelle, a mystical looking black woman, and a cheerful redhead. They all looked... happy, almost like a family, in the group photos. The redhead was only in one photo where she and his host were grinning brightly at the camera.

“Now, the macs not much, but it was my ma's recipe, with my maple bacon twist. It's, well, I think it's tasty, anyway.” She'd continued, not noticing Cas stall briefly in front of the photos. Bobby seemed to have trusted her, that put Cas at ease a little, the tension he didn't know he'd been holding in his shoulders easing, dulling some of the pain he was in, as he followed her fully into the kitchen.

“I have never had 'Mac and Cheese', but I am sure it will be satisfactory.” Cas nodded gravely, his free hand making air quotes, which seemed to amuse her.

“That's adorable, but who's never had mac and cheese? That should be some kind of crime! We need to rectify this immediately, come, sit, dig in!” She gently pulled him by his good arm towards the chair she had pulled out at the table. He winced as he sat, but the pain passed quickly, dulling again to an ache.

She went to sit across from him, smiling encouragingly at him before digging into the golden coloured pasta in front of her.

Grabbing the fork, Cas assessed his own bowl. It was pleasing to look at, the smell of it making his mouth water slightly, a sensation he was still getting used to. With a small, determined nod, he dug in. It was rich, slightly sweet, but mostly savory, and he let out a tiny moan as he let it wash over him. Since becoming human, this was the best meal he'd had yet, and he was slowly realizing that food was becoming one of his favorite things, burgers still being his absolute favorite.

“Why thank you.” Cas snapped his eyes open, not realizing he'd shut them in his appreciation, to see her all but beaming at him. “I'm glad ya like it...” She trailed off, blinking fast for a moment before alarm coloured her features, putting Cas on alert, he looked around.

“What is it?”

“Fuck! No wonder you've been so cautious with me, I never even gave you my name!” Cas blinked owlishly, looking back at her, confusion taking over his alarm.

She shook her head, almost self deprecatingly. “Hey, I'm Amy, Amy Flynn the idiot that brings injured strangers in her house without any introductions.” She laughed, giving him a small smile.

“Uh, Castiel.” He offered awkwardly, and she blinked at him for a moment, before tilting her head.

“Shit, really?”

“Yes?” Cas replied, furrowing his brows in confusion.

She squinted at him, seemingly taking him in again. “Can't be a coincident.” She muttered, licking her lips as she flopped back in her chair. “Alright, shot in the dark, Castiel, Angel of the Lord? Raised one Dean Winchester from perdition?” Cas flinched, before nodding slowly. There was no malice in her words, just wonder and curiosity. “Shit, what happened? Wait, unless it's personal, then you don't have to tell me, uh, why don't we just finish eating, yeah, that sounds like a good plan. I'm obviously not a high enough level ally to open up your Tragic Back Story™.” At Cas' odd look, she waved him off. “Don't mind me, I ramble and am,” She cleared her throat, continuing in a gruff, deep voice. “'Too curious for your own good, idgit.'” She finished with a shrug, taking a bite of her food. There was an... almost sad slouch in her shoulders, and when she caught him with his brow furrowed slightly, she gave what was definitely sad little smile.

He cleared his throat, trying to clear the scratch and weight that seemed to anchor his voice.

“I... I've made grievous mistakes, and trusted the wrong people.” There was a pregnant pause before he added with a weak voice. “I am no Angel.”

There was a small, murmured “Shit.” That he's pretty sure he wasn't intended to hear but did. “Dunno if this is going to make you feel any better, but that all sounds very... human.” She was right, that didn't necessarily make him feel better, but he didn't feel any worse, he just felt... numb.

They eat in mildly uncomfortable silence for the next few minutes, before he caught her unconsciously rubbing the bandage on her forearm again, and a thought occurred to him.

“Why did you use your arm instead of your palm?” He inquired, tilting his head slightly as he squinted at the bandage like it held all of the answers.

Amy snorted loudly. “Do you know how many nerves you have in your hands? Shit hurts, makes it hell ta use the damn thing for a while after, this is more practical, s'long as your conscious of how deep ya make it.” He blinked, taking in the information, remembering all of the times he'd seen Sam and Dean wince after they had done that very thing, then nodded firmly.

“I see, I shall take this into account.” She smiled at him, it was soft, and almost... warm.

“I can give ya a few hunting tips whilst your on the mend, if you want. Can't have ya making stupid mistakes like cutting one of the most sensitive parts of yer body open when ya got a perfectly good forearm just waiting to be used!” She joked, gently tapping her forearm. “Now finish as much as you can eat, I'mma go get the bandages, and some cloths for ya to change into, those jeans cannot be comfortable.” She stood, offering another smile before depositing her bowl into the sink and disappearing back down the hall they had come from.

~~

Freshly bandaged, and gently changed into a clean, well worn shirt, and some loose sweatpants, Cas was feeling mildly better, having had the grit from the last few days gently wiped off of him.

It was amazing how nice a fresh pair of cloths can feel, no matter how loose they were.

"Do ya want a jacket? It's kinda chilly." Her voice was kind of muffled, as she was currently fully inside of a closet, making a noise of triumph before pulling out with a soft looking black hoody.

"I would appreciate that." He nodded, before looking awkwardly at his arm in a sling. There was a sharp laugh, and he looked up.

"Oops, we shoulda done this before, huh?" Castiel wasn't the best at reading human emotions, but he'd seen this particular look on the brothers multiple times when there were being especially hard on themselves.

"I suppose, though we are inside." He attempted to lighten the mood.

"Whelp, you're not wrong." She did a sort of half laugh, before stepping forward. "Come 'ere ya literal dork." She muttered, helping him easing his arm out of the sling and into the sleeve of the hoody.

"I don't understand what that means." There was a snort before his head popped out.

"We'll get ya all learned up on these strange human ways." She beamed, gently smoothing out the hoody before gently easing his arm back into the sling. "Alright, come on, let's get this show on the road."

~~

By the time they had returned to Amy's place, Cas was far beyond exhausted. He had honestly never felt so thoroughly rundown, his whole body felt like it was on fire, even with the small nap he's taken when Amy had gone grocery shopping.

"Yeah, I dunno why I thought this would be a good idea to take ya with me when you looked half dead yesterday." She was muttering as she was helping him into the bed. “Yeah Amy, let's take a heavily wounded person you just found yesterday, stroll them around town, totally forget to bring any pain meds with ya, what could possibly go wrong?” She didn't seem to be aware that he could still hear her, as she went about pulling off his shoes.

“Wait here a tick, Imma get the pills.” There was an absent minded, gentle ruffle of his hair before she left.

He looked down at his arm, still gently nestled in the sling, for looking over at the pillows beside him. Castiel didn't really like sleep all that much, he felt so vulnerable, but with his arm in agony as well as a sling made him... even more uncomfortable.

With a sigh, he ran his good hand through his hair, wincing when he brushed against his head wound.

“Alright, here ya go. From now on we'll just be binge watching movies, no more road trips.” Cas didn't say anything as he took the pill from her hand, popping it in his mouth before draining the glass he was handed.

Fuck he hated this. He was so weak, useless. He barely lasted two hours out, and it was just walking and browsing, for fucks sake. No wonder Dean kicked him out, he was just a liability.

Gentle hands cupping his cheeks brought him out of his dark thoughts.

“Hey, you are more than these injuries.” Amy assured softly, her gaze locked onto his. This close he could see there was a ring of green around her iris. Her eyes were kind, but firm. “This will not keep you down, you will heal. You are stronger than you believe. I know you might be used to not being out of commission like this, but this does not make you weak. It's only day one of healing, it will get better. Sure, you'll probably still have dark days, but you _are_ healing, and if you wish me to, I will be with you every step of the way. I will not abandon you.” His eyes were burning and itchy, Amy's form shimmering. Gently thumbs wiped at his cheek, and Cas could now feel the moisture running down his face.

“I-” He tried, but his voice was thick, like he had a block in his throat. It hurt, and he could feel his lip wobbling now. “I-”

“Sh, it's okay, let it out, I promise you'll feel better.” She murmured, gently guiding his face to the juncture where her neck met her shoulder, tenderly rubbing his back. Something in him just broke, sobs racking his body as his free hand clung to her shirt. Her scent was a soft, comforting Jasmine, and he buried his nose into her neck, gripping her tighter. She just kept rubbing soothing circles into his back, rocking them gently, carefully, humming a soft tune.

They stayed like that for a long time, before the exhaustion and the pills finally caught up to him.The last thing he was aware of was a gently press on his forehead, and a soft, “You are not alone.” before he faded into unconsciousness.

 


	3. Of Tragic Backstories™ & Bonds Forged

The next weeks were slow going, but Cas did start feeling better. He grew more accustom the the aches, began to be able to do more, though all they had been doing was watching movies. There made their was through The Lord of The Rings, a series of different movies she said were Marvel movies, and occasional animated movies when he was having a particularly bad day.

Amy had been a surprisingly nice companion, after what had happened with the last one. She didn't ask too many questions, and when she did, she usually just carried on, ignoring her own question like she'd never asked it in the first place.

It had been a bad day, and they had been watching something called 'Brave', it was fascinating, and heart-wrenching. As the credits rolled, he looked over at Amy, but she was sound asleep, curled in a ball on the arm chair. It didn't look remotely comfortable, and her face was scrunched up, almost like she was in fear. Her body was twitching sporadically, small distressed noises passing from her lips.

"Amy?" He called out softly. In the past two weeks, he hadn't witnessed her in the grasp of a nightmare, but he used to ease them for... the Winchesters, when he had his grace. "Amy, wake up." Carefully, gently, he moved to rouse her, prodding her shoulder.

There was a sharp grasp, and suddenly her eyes were wide open, still fearful, and her hand had shot out to painfully grasp his good wrist, and twist.

" _Cas_ " She breathed, quickly letting him go as his face contorted in a grimace. "Feck, 'm so sorry, I- shite." She ran a hand through her hair, her brogue thicker with sleep and despair, refusing to look at him.

Gingerly rolling his wrist, "Amy, are you alright?".

"Me, uh ye, no 'm fine, feck, 'm sorry, been o'while since I had one 'o those. Are you al'right?" He scrunched up his brow in confusion.

"Me? I'm okay, yeah, I'm more concerned about you, sorry I startled you."

"Shite, yeah, yeah 'm okay, just... thought I'd never 'ave that particular nightmare e're again." She buried her face in her hands, she sat like that for a moment, still and quiet.

"Do you... do you want to talk about it?" He hedged tentatively.

Instantly, she shook her head, then paused, silence. With a deep breath, she dragged her hands down her face, letting it out with a sigh. She glance at him for a moment, before her gaze went to the credits playing on the screen.

"It was... my family... how they died." Her voice was low, somber, and gruff with emotion. "I'd stayed out late at the library, had lost track of time before Alice, the librarian, scolded me about being out so late, and that they were closing. She was such a nice old lady, I miss her sometimes, she was like everyone's grandma." There was a soft, sad smile on her face, tears welling up slowly in her eyes.

"Amy, you don't-" Cas started, but Amy shook her head, swallowing thickly.

"No... it's okay, I've only ever told... Bobby about this. Did ya know he basically took me in? I was young and rebellious, and going to get myself killed, and this old geezer just kept showin' up and callin' me an idgit." As she smiled, the tears spilled down her cheeks. "Always pullin' my ass outta the fire, even though I never deserved it. I wish..." She trailed off, covering her mouth with her hand and squeezing her eyes shut as sobs wracked her body.

Cas moved closer, pulling her to his chest in a, what he hoped was comforting, hug. She curled into him, burying her head into the place where his neck met his shoulder.

"I never got to say goodbye-" Her words were quiet, but the sob that followed was heartbreaking and loud. "To any of them, Bobby, my parents, my brother or my fucking sisters." It was almost like she was trying to crawl inside of him, to hide from the world, and make herself smaller. He just pulled her closer, rubbing his hands awkwardly down her back, hoping he was bringing her some kind of comfort as guilt gnawed at his gut.

They sat like that for a while, before her sobs quieted down to sniffles, and she gently pulled away. 

"Sorry," She muttered sheepishly, rubbing at the wet spot on his shoulder, the cloth cold and damp from her tears.

He tilted his head. "Are you alright?" She huffed a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. Sorry to dump all of that on you, most of it wasn't even... just... sorry." She still hasn't made eye contact, her head bowed as she stared at his shoulder.

"Amy, you have nothing to be sorry for, I... I might be new to feeling emotions, but expressing them is not something to apologize for, I've read that repressing them can be harmful." She snorted, finally looking up and giving him a watery smile.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks for... just thanks." She heaved a deep sigh, wiping at the tear tracks on her face.

"You are most welcome Amy, you have been here for me, I shall endeavor  to do the same for you."

"Thanks Cas, you... you remind me of my brother, he was absolutely horrid at emotions, but he was loyal to a fault, and could always make me smile."

"Do you want to... tell me about them?" Another small, watery smile, before she nodded.

"If you'd like to hear it." He gave her an encouraging smile, or at least he hoped it was. She smiled, moving to curl into his side, staring back at the, now title screen.

"His name was Sean, he was older than me... they all were, but fuckin' hell he had the emotional range of a fuckin' teaspoon. He was a huuuuuuge fuckin' nerd too, I used to help him with video games, I was his second pair of eyes. We used to call him Snorlax, because he slept so much, Snorlax was a pokemon by the way, I'll show you later. Then there was Aibhe, she was the oldest, she had such a short fuse, used to get into fights with Sean all of the time. She broke the door frame once, trying to chase him. She tried to screw it back together before our parents got home, but no dice."

That was how they spent the rest of their night, Amy told him about her family, how they were killed by vampires, how she never really got over it and started to pursue hunting. How that led to her finding Bobby, and eventually coming to think of his as a father. How she regrets letting him send her away, causing her to not have his back, and not being able to say goodbye in the end. She then asked Cas about his life, and he told her, about how he used to watch creation, how he got assigned to help the Winchesters... the events that lead him here.

They talked well into the morning, through the afternoon, eventually falling asleep curled on the couch together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, okay, sorry about the shitty ending, I didn't want it to drag on, and I was late, and just fuck life my dudes. I've got a busy couple of months ahead of me, lots of D&D (like the huge fuckin nerd that I am), a baby shower, then my grandma's coming down because my brother's getting married, and I'm dragging on again, so Imma just go because no one gives a shit. Yeah... okay, goodbye


	4. Sharing is Caring (I don't want you to go)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking fuckity fuck. I lost about three fourths of this chapter, and honestly, that crushed me a little, but I am bound and determined now, so I am sorry this is incredibly late, but I half forgot about it, half got mad, so... here ya go, sorry it's shit. Also, it's shorter than I wanted it to be, but I lost a bunch of it, and I almost started crying, so... I promise it gets happier-ish from here.

The last month and a half had honestly been the most freeing Castiel can ever remember having. All of the eon's he'd been in existence he'd only been practicing free will for the past few, and even then, there had always been... limitations, boundaries he had to be careful to not cross. Here with Amy though, in her little house in the woods, with her neat little garden in the back, he didn't have to worry. There were no boundaries he had to worry about braking into after the first couple of weeks. Amy was very open, very understanding, he'd never felt so... warm.

After they had shared their pasts, the peace and companionship came easy. He found himself relaxing, joking, having fun with her. Throwing popcorn at each other during truly horrible movies, laughter being the most common sound ringing throughout the house. Castiel didn't know if he ever wanted to go back to how things were before, to the continuous cycle of death, and pain, and lies, and betrayal. He didn't feel useless when he could say things that made Amy smile, when he managed to properly make a meal that Amy had taught him. Watching the bag's fade from underneath Amy's eyes, realizing maybe he was helping her as much as she was helping him. The last almost two months felt like paradise, but he couldn't avoid the sense of dread building up in his gut. His makeshift cast was coming off today. There would be no real reason for him to stay. He'd be alone again.

He pattered around the kitchen, putting away the ingredients for muffins. He rather enjoyed baking, usually preparing something when he awoke, and he often woke up before Amy, when the sun was just barely rising. She wasn't a late riser, by any means, but Castiel just rose earlier, still mildly uncomfortable with sleeping. Baking usually relaxed him, but the fear of being kicked out again wouldn't stop tingling in the back of his brain.

He most have been zoned out for longer then he thought, because one second he had only just put the muffin's in the over, but now there was the putrid smell burning sugar.

"Crap!" He rushed to pull them out, hoping they weren't too far gone. Now, Castiel would like to think he'd been adjusting to human life fairly well, he know when he was hungry, knew when he'd eaten too much, when he'd push himself too far, the like. Sometimes though, sometimes when he was too tired, had just woken up, or when he was in a panic, he forgot. Forgot how fragile he was now, how he couldn't just grab a pan out of the oven and feel nothing. Those days were behind him, no, now he was greeted with burning agony flared bright and hot across his hand, causing him to hiss as he immediately dropped the pan, cradling his hand to his chest.

"..as? Cas! Are you alright? Cas, what happened? Shite is yer hand hurt? Fock, okay come'on, let's get that under some water." He startled, not having heard her approach. She sounded frazzled, pulling him over to the sink, and turning the tap on, checking the temperature before guiding his hand under the stream. He flinched slightly at the sensation, but relaxed quickly, the burning dulling under the cool water.

"Okay, alright, stay here for a bit Cas, I'll go grab some pain killers, and some cloth, I promise we'll take care of this, everything will be okay." She smoothed his hair back from his forehead, giving him a brief kiss there, before hurrying off.

Fuck. Why was he such a fuck up, such a burden to those he cared about. All he brought to those close to him was stress and pain. He was useless, broken, not worthy of companions. He stared at his hand still resting under the water, blurry from tears he didn't realize had begun for form. His palm was an angry red, and though the stinging was still there it was dulled from the white hot burning it was before.

"Okay, okay Cas, I'm here, I brought something for the pain, come on, you gotta take it buddy." Amy. She'd be wanting him to leave soon, no doubt, probably as soon as this last... inconvenience was dealt with.

Numbly, he took the pill from her hand with his other, still encased in the makeshift cast, hand. He swallowed it dry, barely wincing. He felt disconnected from his body, like he was trapped in the back of his mind, only able to watch as the world continued on.

Distantly he heard Amy continue to speak, but he couldn't make heads or tails of it, the words distorted as if through some sort of veil. He watched on as, after a while, she brought his hand out, dried it off on a fluffy looking towel, he thought absently, and wrapped it gingerly in a white cloth bandage. Then he was being lead to the couch,  and gently sat down and lowered onto a lap. He could see Amy over him, her brows drawn with worry, and her lips still moving as she dragged her hands through his hair, soothingly.

He doesn't know how long they sat there, but after what felt like both hours, and no time at all, her voice started to filter back in. He was feeling more grounded.

"... nd Bobby used ta say ta me, 'Amy, ya right idgit, you don't have to do everything by yourself.' I mean, that was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, I'd been alone for so long, after my family had... died. This old geezer just kept, ya know, showin' up! I thought I was able to handle so much on my own, determined to do it, but he just kept comin' and savin' my ungrateful arse. I used to yell at 'im, God's, I was so angry back then. Life had focked me, ya know? Just, took everyone from me, opened my eyes to just how awful the world was, and I... I guess I didn't want to be close to anyone again. Bobby though, he wouldn't stand for it. Almost got myself killed one day, I remember. Was fightin' a ghoul, fockin' thought I was tough shit, could take on the world, like a fockin' dumbass child. Ghoul got me, almost finished me off before 'e came in guns blazin', like a white knight he was. I swear, I broke again that night, wouldn't stop cryin' after, clingin' to him fer dear life. He took me home after, cared for me as if I weren't a piece of shite kid that nearly got myself and others killed more often than not. I swear, as soon as my wounds were healed, I thought he was gonna drop me so fast, but he didn't. He said, 'Listen here idgit. If your so keen to be puttin' yourself in danger, your gonna at least learn to do it without gettin' yourself killed.' He took me in Cas. He cared for me as if I were his own. After me dad died, I... I didn't think I'd have another one, didn't think I'd have family again, but he changed that for me. He took in this poor, broken, piece of shite kid and showed her what she was doing wrong, showed her how to live again. That kid that I helped kill the vampires that killed my parents may have given me purpose after their deaths, but Bobby taught me that it didn't have to be at the cost of me." Her voice was hoarse, like she'd been talking for a while, her hands still running through his hair.

He blinked, focusing in on her again, her eyes were red, and her cheeks were wet. She gave him a watery smile, one hand coming to boop him on the nose.

"Welcome back, how are ya feelin'?" He sat up slowly, ignoring the sense of loss he felt when her hand dropped from his hair.

"I..." He had to clear his throat, it felt tight, like he had something lodged in there. "I am alright, thank you." He didn't know what to say. 'I'm sorry for... whatever that was, for being a burden', 'I didn't know you were that close with Bobby, I'm sorry for everything', he was lost.

"Cas, buddy, are you okay? You don't... you don't have to tell me anything, but I am here for you, I'm not going anywhere." That there, that's the kicker, why would she say that only to kick him out again?

He shook his head, fighting the feeling of something crawling up his throat, tearing it's way out.

"Cas..." A gentle hand guided him back, his head back in her lap. "It's okay." Hands were in his hair again, soothing. Everything was blurry again, and he turned, burying his face into her stomach.

"I don't want to go." He admitted, mumbled and soft, but here all the same. The thought that had been plaguing him for days now, creeping into his dreams, twisting them.

"What?" Her hands had stilled, before one continued, and the other pulled him closer. "Cas, I... I don't want you to leave. After Bobby, I've... I've been alone for so long, I'd never make you stay, but I sure as shit would never make you leave. Especially not after what that ass you were with before did to ya. No, if ya wanna stay, stay as long as you want. These last few weeks, they've been the best I've had in a while. You are family Cas, I don't leave my family behind, and I sure as shit don't kick them out." He gripped her shirt, wincing when pain flared in his burnt hand, but at the moment he couldn't care less. She was letting him stay. The tears came harder, his body heaving with them, painfully, Amy's voice continuing to sooth him, rubbing circle's on his shoulder, petting his hair. Home. He felt at home, and he was here to stay.


End file.
